I (kinda) fixed my computer with duct tape. I'm waiting for it to shut down randomly, but whatever. My background screen got deleted too, but it was an opportunity to get something new! Now it's a picture I took during a hike of Pinkham notch in stick season from above. I guess I'm on a roll because I put air in my tires again finally (lugging up the compressor sucks so much).
I see a new therapist today. Kinda afraid. I don't want to have a good appointment, expect her to help, and then her be like every other therapist who cancels every third appointment and only makes me understand why I am the way I am (which I already do get that when your dad is mean to you and says that that's love you confuse meanness and love later on) rather than change the way I am.
__________________
"I don't know what I'm looking for."
"Why not?"
"Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them."
"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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