Its still in the am for me so the day is going fantastic. Went to the Dr yesterday, still endeavouring to get into a Pdoc for a tweak. The bush was gorgeous as usual early morning. Dew on the ground and birds singing with no one else around except a few kangaroos, wallabies and Kookaburras. Listened to a podcast in one ear whilst we were walking. Heard something really interesting. I learnt about he reticular activating system a few years ago whilst studying, how the mind only sees evidence of what it is thinking. The buy a red car see a hundred red cars the same type thing. These last few months have been particularly painful after detonating a beautiful friendship and my mind has been going down the 'I'll never find a best friend again, never find love again'. I've heard well meaning individuals say that we will, just have to put myself out there. What was interesting about this podcast was that the 'suffering' I was feeling, the opposite is the key. So brain telling me I won't, the exact opposite is true - and - not necessarily in the place I will look. So that love will come from a stranger who I smile at, a person in the coffee shop that I say hi to, the dog that walks past and wags it's tail, the flower I see on one of my walks. And it makes perfect sense, there's love all around me, I'm just not noticiing it because I'm blinding myself by looking for it in a very specific area. What's the key to this is the more I see love, the more possibilities it opens, because that same reticular activating system will also see evidence of love from people, because that's now what I am looking for everywhere. Look small and it will lead to big. It landed for me today. Love all the check-in positivity here, you're an awesome group.

Dr gave me some more seroquel yesterday, despite me having reactions to it prior. I've been on it several times over the years in varying doses up to 400mg. Has anyone else had experience with it causing a large amount of rage and racing heart prior to its sedating effects?