I feel so depressed tonight. I went back to my old job at the pharmacy— I started on Monday, and I’ve already decided to quit. I just can’t work there again. I don’t know why even i went back— I ran into my old boss in the Target parking lot a few weeks ago, and she seemed really elated to see me and she invited me to come back. I guess the idea of being wanted somewhere really got me. That and a paycheck, obviously. But i can’t. I’ve already realized this will not work. I feel so miserable. My birthday is in two weeks; I will be 39 years old, single, no kids, and unemployed. What’s the point of me even going on? By all accounts, I’ve failed. The only things keeping me alive right now are my jewelry class and my cat. We recently made stacking rings and it was so much fun! I just feel like such a failure— I have tried repeatedly to lose weight and nothing has worked. I’m so sick of this ****; I’m sick of having to listen to ****ing douchy doctors, when all they do is ignore everything I tell them I’ve tried. I realize that sacrificing your fun years to end up treating people who don’t seem to care about their health sucks, but i resent being treated a) like I’m stupid and b) like I’m lying to them. Nothing angers me more than people making dumbass assumptions about me and completely ignoring what I tell them. I’ve tried to find love… no luck there. My friend says he thinks it’ll happen completely out of the blue when I’m least expecting it. That’s sweet of him to think it’ll happen at all at this point. I’ve had headaches all week too. I’ve been exhausted. Why is life one stupid issue after another? Why can’t it be easy just once? My ****ing sister has a boyfriend and a job she loves, and they’ll probably have children and make up for me being a waste of space in our parents’ eyes. Everyone would probably be better off without me in their lives, since all i do is fail.