I'm seeing R today for the first time since August while Dr. T is away in an undisclosed location (though from what he said, I'm pretty sure he was flying there, which of course makes me anxious because of last week). Then meeting a friend I haven't seen for a few months for lunch. I feel like I'm in such a negative headspace right now that I almost want to cancel the lunch. But she has a rare day off, and this is to celebrate our birthdays that are a few days apart (yet another Aquarian!), so I don't want to cancel.

I just feel like I don't want to be all negative--like, why would she want to hang out with me again? Maybe I'll just spend most of it catching up on what's going on with her. Though we've been friends since we worked together about 15 years ago--and we both can have a negative, dark side. And talk about real stuff going on in our lives, positive or negative. I don't think she expects me to be all smiles and rainbows (if she does, she's friends with the wrong person!) So, OK, hopefully we can still have a nice enough time hanging out.

And there was a brief snippet of my trying to apply what I've learned in therapy to myself, to talk to myself as Dr. T would. I think it worked?