You have finally allowed yourself to see the reality of her verses what you kept projecting her to be. Many do that and they finally are forced to see the truth This is hard because in the mix it’s easy to blame one’s self for not seeing how hopeless it was going way back.

The question you are asking about her regretting what she did or what you feel she gave up? The answer is no and that is still giving her what would bother you which is again projecting your own values. This is where the disbelief comes from.

From what you shared, your wife’s comments and actions looked to destroy your sense of self worth. That’s what toxic people do.