Just to give you an idea of how "out there" i have been with people, i'll tell you about an email i sent to a friend telling she was annoying, that her manner was irritating. It was a very personal insult i gave her, tho very honest.

I told her i didn't come thru slaughter, and walk thru fire without learning some life skills, and to quit interrogating me about every decision i made. I also let her know that her judging me for being fat was an injustice.

I am fat because DOCTORS made me that way. I was thin and athletic before i met a doctor who pumped me full of anti-psychotics, and ruined my body. She's with the American Food and Drug Administration now, which is plenty scary.

Every doctor who came after her has been so intimidated by her reputation that they just followed suit with the anti-psychotics. Bleep it all, i have NEVER been psychotic!!!

Like Bill Hicks, i am afraid i am waking up too late. He woke up and died young at 34. I am 58 and who knows how much time there is left? Longevity does not run in my family. It would be so ironic that just when i get healthy enough to enjoy life, death will come knocking. Well, at least i will go out with a bang!

I'm so ffuucckkiinngg sick of everyone implying that i am fat because i am not educated about nutrition, have no self-control, and have been fat my whole life. The fact of the matter is that i was thin, and athletic until i was 29, and met this negligent doctor. My X was wild about my aassss. Men thought i was sexy. Women were in awe of me. I was very pretty.

I'm also highly educated about nutrition from being a gymnast under the direction of a coach who was insistent that we all be as thin as possible. Probably partly why i am so ffuucckkeedd up about food now. I even had anorexia for a year which was encouraged by this gymnastics coach. She was pro-ana before it was even a thing.

I am outraged that just because i am fat now, people assume i have ALWAYS been fat. That i have NEVER been thin. It's so ffuucckkiinngg judgmental and disrespectful, and i told this friend that.

The next time i saw her, she was much better. I hate it that people think because they are older than me, they know more than me. I have suffered, and skated pretty close to dying. It's been a great teacher, tho not one i would have chosen voluntarily. I don't appreciate being talked down to and lectured at about how good tofu is for you from an omnivore who doesn't even eat tofu.

I just find the neurotypicals so disrespectful, and judgmental, i just get outraged when i try and associate with them. I guess the lesson is to stick to my own kind. I have to live in the world, it's not my responsibility to change the world, and i have no desire to do it. I just want a measure of peace in my soul.