I understand what you're feeling.....100%!!! You are NOT alone!! That's what took me so long to get help...wondering what people would think...(the doctors, my family, and what few friends I do have.) If your anything like me....those thoughts...affect your life alot. I have thoughts like that all the time. what people will think of me...what people will say...and what should I say ...or what shouldn't I say. Get help!! I just started seeking help...and you know what...I'm starting to feel normal ...for the first time in my life. Don't get me wrong...I'm still struggling...but I know with the right additute and help...I can finally control my life!! Good luck...and remember...You can do it!!!