I've ranted about my dad in the past. He definitely has some communal narcissistic traits. His world view is very simplistic and everything has to fit in the checkboxes of his religion.

But he's a good person. He is giving of himself in a lot of ways.

And I have had to recognize that he doesn't feel deeply, but he feels broadly.... He tries to be inclusive and bring people together at their home.

His advice to me way back was, "Celebrate. At every opportunity celebrate. Don't over think things during those times. The memories of good times and celebration with family and friends will get you through the bad times."

And....

I was talking to an old friend today. She's 50. She went out with a bunch of her GFs on the weekend to a bar to eat and listen to live music.

I was asking her today how it was.

One of the ladies is trying to keep her relationship with her BF together, and her eyes were red from crying or smoking MJ... Not sure which.

Another was trying to kick her long term BF out before he could claim common law privileges in a separation because she makes way more than him, and he's taken to selling her appliances while she's at work and keeping vodka in water bottles.

Another was in the middle of her third divorce. Her husband hasn't been paying his half of the bills because he's been supporting his adult daughter from his 2nd marriage, so she's losing her apartment at the same time.

I listened to all that and I was just.......

That is the lifestyle my stbx wife wished and longed for. The drama and upheaval…

Then it occurred to me that in court she said she'd been forced for move six times in one year.... Well... How many times did she move in and out of men's apartments then? I doubt she was making damage deposits six times in a year.

No thanks. I don’t want to bash others choices but it’s not for me.

Home is good. Quiet is good.

RDMercer