I agree it is not influencing other people. Influencing others was not on my mind at all. But the desire to not have something end can lead to one not taking action that would help one even where one might not want to have to deal with it at all. We all have things we don't want to end or people we don't want to say goodbye to etc. but there are actions a person can take to have some control over how the thing one does not want goes. I don't want X to happen but it is going to - what do I do to lessen the impact or take care of myself knowing that thing is going to happen. I believe in recognizing that even in being left (whether the other moves, dies, changes jobs, stops loving you, whatever) one has choices - not about stopping the other from leaving, or dying, or whatever but choices around one's self. I am not talking about knee jerk reactions to being upset - it is more that if you know the other person is planning to leave - you can also plan. If the other can't figure out a plan and keep to it - then one taking care of one's self by saying something like "I know Other you don't know exactly what you are going to do or when, but this back and forth and stringing it out is not healthy for me -so I will stop going back and forth with you because I know is not healthy for me" - not out of anger or knee jerk response