Hello As One.
Glad you shared your situation with us. I’m also a father, I have two daughters and had a wife. I also experienced that “dad is invincible” feeling and I felt uncomfortable admitting to any weaknesses.
Blitter has some great advice, and I don’t have much to add, I am no longer married so I’m not an expert on saving a marriage.

One thing I feel compelled to say though, is, that the seating arrangement power dynamic is strictly an illusion, and wrestling it from your daughter through stern demands or god forbid physical force, shows your desperation and weakness.
They are just chairs and it’s just a table, and it’s a family sitting at it, not your enemies even though I suppose they feel like that at the moment.

I feel this “head of the table” is a trope from the ‘50s atomic family age which in itself was a bit of a farce.

My daughters are 13 and 16 and I have tried the “because I’m your father and I say so” and it actually makes no sense, how would you react to that?
I stopped attacking the front gates, it’s impossible to win that way unless you break them.
I switched to surveillance, when I put my own feeling of anger and bitterness aside I was able to see the cracks in their walls, alternate routes in.
I’m not the stereotypical father wielding his electric turkey cutter at thanksgiving and doling out portions, I am a silent observer and psychological ninja, I can tell they find it quite unnerving.

But of course, I am not you, and what works for one man doesn’t for another.