Sometimes clarity isn’t all-or-nothing. Perhaps you won’t get a full resolution but you can focus on what’s enough for now. Maybe instead of trying to figure it out, start by noticing how you feel. Do you feel relieved? Angry? Naming those emotions might guide towards what;s best.

Would you be open to journaling or writing a letter (even if it's not sent) to process your thoughts? Just some things to consider What do you really need to say to P ? What do you also want to take away from your time together?