The mania you describe is very common with bipolar. It’s not in your head, well I guess technically it is in your head, it’s a chemical imbalance. Find a doctor that you’re comfortable with and discuss it with him. There are medications out there to keep your mania at bay. I’m sorry that you’re facing ignorance, there is help out there. It might take a while to find the medial combination that’s right for you, don’t get discouraged.