I also suffer with anorexia and bulimia. I agree with what everyone has said here. I do fully understand what u are saying here my dear: I feel this as well. And that site that you went on does not sound like a very supportive one. I would recommend not going there again. People can be cruel and mean, this are some of the reasons for eating disorders. (just some), but we know there is so much more that lies underneath the disorder.

I know Leslie, have never seen her but have talked to her many times on the phone and in chat. She is a beautiful person as I have learned to know what Leslie has inside, the biggest heart one could find.

I will admit that I have a hard time talking about ED's as I am very sick right now. I don't see myself attractive at all: others may tell me this but I just get mad as its not what I see. But in the end, killing oneself by wanting to look a certain way just does not make sense--but that's not the ED is all about. So much more is hiding under the ED, thats the hard part in healing the what really hurts inside.

I don't know much about you my dear but after reading this I can see how much others care about you, this is your beauty. And I know, trust me I do, that it doesn't always help when people say this as I know it can agravate me to no end. Not that I get mad at others for helping, its what is in inside that is killing me.

I do believe in my heart that everyone has beauty inside. Even my abusive ex-husband has some of this inside--and I hate to admit this but I did love him for a reason at one point in time.

My question to you Bjork: what does go on for you with your ED? As much as I have been taught about ED's, there is something underneath this illness either than the apperance that you are seeking. As I read what you have written, I see a compassionate, wonderful, beautiful woman who just wants some acceptance, love, nuturing, and some friends to help you through this: and my dear, you have come to the right place.

My heart and thoughts are with you: wishing you all the best in recovery. This is such an ugly illness, it takes away the real person inside and replaces it with the ED that takes control--and I am sure u know this already. I am not lecturing you at all: just know that I understand and pray (if thats okay), that you find what you are searching for--beyond beauty on the outside. Personally, there is beauty in all of us: inside and out. And yes, I can pick out others that I may think has an ED. I stopped wearing clothes that show my bones protruding in my neck area. They stick out so bad that its the first thing you notice on me. And when my kids ask me when I am going to get the doctor to fix my bones that they get hurt on--well it breaks my heart. My kids have to feel where my hip bones are before they lay on me or they dig into them. Thats just sad. They have to place a pillow on certain areas of my body before laying on me: brings me to tears everytime.

Keep posting....I hope we can help u.

Justy