I love your avitar ... reminds me of somebody.

You may be feeling grief over the loss of friendship, which may be preventing you from feeling excited about your yearly trip.

My best guess, anyway.

Grief has stages ...

In case you are depressed, you might get alot out of going on your trip. It will keep you from being alone. right? Dwelling? See.

Just go through the motions of preparing for the trip, and by the time you put your sunglasses on, your summer hat, and get to the airport or the in the car, chances are you will be digging it ... if not, go to Cinnabons', the sugar rush will help. (;

Hope you feel better soon.
Keep posting.
Glad you are here, i love that kitty hawk!

peace and love,
nightbird