Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail
Thanks LT,
I'd planned on today being my last regular check in with the helpline, as my schedule is a little different over the next couple of weeks.
Then I got an email saying that H is unwell today.
The administrator said that they understood it would be helpful to speak to someone I've spoken with before, and offered me a slot that wouldn't work.
So I rang in and spoke to somebody new.
It's been a while since I had to start at the beginning, so I kept having to backtrack and fill in bits I'd missed.
I was watching TV on Friday night, and a comedian was asked about his experience of coming out.
'It's about admitting it to yourself: this is who I am.'
When Steve came out, I didn't understand why he would do so.
My first thought was 'What difference does it make?'
That's something I'm still trying to understand, so I appreciate such moments.
There's a part of me that goes 'Ooh, learning opportunity.'
This time, I found myself getting angry, because although I'm glad the comedian's experience seems positive, I feel a strong sense of injustice that it couldn't be that simple for Steve.
Lost
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It makes perfect sense that starting over with someone new can feel disorienting, having to go over and piece things together can be exhausting, especially when you're already carrying so much.
It sounds like the weight of everything has been very overwhelming hard to get through. When are you next seeing R? I hope the writing workshop offered even a small moment of lightness amidst it all.
I didn't understand how much shame is also involved in coming out until I read the autobiography by Will Young.