Today i went in two ZOOM events put on by my IRL support groups. They were totally pleasant, except for two bad apples who just want to complain and draw attention to their problems which we've supported them thru their problems several times already. I'm sorry, i am not a bottomless well of support, and i can't hear about your intense anxiety, and your vacuuming up support for your minor surgery yet one more time. This woman just wants to talk and talk and talk about herself, and never listen, or have curiosity about others, or offer a kind word to another. A narcissist. BORING!!! Tiresome, frustrating, a waste of time.

The other woman was just unacceptable, telling me not to ask questions, telling me what to do, using "YOU" statements, and "SHOULD" statements, and complaining when i got angry that she was violating the Code of Conduct. I know she's got intellectual issues, but still, i won't allow her to attack me that way, and no help from the facilitator offered. Fine. I took care of it myself, and now NO ONE knows to mess with me, because i've been attending the orgs for twenty and thirty years and know the Codes of Conduct backwards and forwards. This person would be better off going and coloring, or watching game shows. She is not smart enough to participate in a social support group activity. Why the facilitator didn't take my part, i don't know. The groups are not moderated well, and it seems it is up to me to defend myself and enforce the Codes of Conduct, and that's NOT my role as a participant.

So, it was a very mixed experience even among the neurodivergent. Beginning to think all human interaction is not worthwhile. Tired of having to constantly defend myself from people who are judgmental, entitled, stupid, etc. I don't know. Maybe at this point in my life i am just too experienced, and educated to tolerate the average person. I had fun with some of the men in the group, but the women were mostly dumb as a sack of hammers.

About the only person i can stand is late artist (comedian) Bill Hicks. I listen to his comedy, and think, well at least there once lived a human being who thinks as i, who feels as i. He's no longer with us, but maybe there are others like him out there. The problem is, people who are powerful usually have their time filled by their late fifties.

It seems the only solution is to be alone. My dog is worth it. I ordered a PlayStation that'll arrive tomorrow. One of the guys in my ZOOM support group is a big Diablo player, so hopefully he can help me get started gaming, and that'll be another solo activity along with cooking that i can do at home, and stop wasting my time trying to connect with people.