@Blueberrybook:

Sorry for the second @Mention, i reread your post, and realized i hadn't addressed the issue of meds.

So, yeah, i am on meds for sleep. When i'm grieving, and depressed, i sleep so very long it is like short comas! I sleep for about ten hours a night, plus rest on the sofa in the afternoon.

This insomnia is very unusual. It is caused by my intense feelings about my incident on January 12, 2025. My sleep disturbance has now been going on thirty (30) consecutive days.

I am against taking more meds, as i feel my current meds are not even necessary. Once my incident is resolved, i will be seeking the advice of my doctor on withdrawing from all meds, as my diagnosis has been changed from primarily bipolar, to "Prolonged Grief Disorder" (PGD), with secondary mood disturbance.

Heavy meds aren't really warranted for PGD. I am on Seroquel, and Risperdal, and all they do is make me gain weight. I gained 125 pounds the first year i was on anti-psychotics when i was 29. Up til then, i was thin, fit, pretty, and sexy. Now my figure is ruined, and no man will even look at me.

The med that's really unacceptable is my benzo. I've currently withdrawn from one milligram of Clonazepam 75%. I did it in 2022. I used The Ashton Method of substituting in valium, and then making small cuts each week.

It went well until i got down to five milligrams of valium. When i tried to go lower, i had all these problems getting along with people. So my doctor and i decided to pause the taper until i stabilized. Then my younger sister died and i was grief-stricken, and depressed for 28 months.

Five milligrams of valium is a tiny amount, but i still don't like to be taking a narcotic, and having a tolerance to it, which must be serviced each and every day.

From all these details in the long post, i hope you can see why, Blueberrybook, i am not interested in more meds. Putting up with the sleep-deprivation is pretty intense, but it's likely that the meds are partly responsible for ruining my natural sleep of pre-meds days, when i slept like a rock.

Thanks for your concern, Blueberrybook. i hope i've done a decent-enough job of explaining my position on both the questions of therapists and more meds. Let me know if i haven't answered you perfectly.