i think i cried enough...
even though i see it happening clear as the blue sky it still very bothering and as much as i don't like to use the word but depressing to experience it. i can't imagine those who don't see it but fall for it and going down the rabbit hole going crazy not trusting themselves, their own sanity anymore because the other half is being successful in the process.

another thing i'd like to get the term of because i want to read more about it, is when he quoted me word by word over and over until even i thought i sounded ridiculous. but later on i realized, that there were almost unnoticable modifications in the quotes and was pulled out of his butt when the 'message' was out of context and did not fit at all. i wish i could remember a single one at this moment but lately i instantly erase from my mind anything said or done when we're togehter. it helps however days/weeks/years going by for nothing that i'll never get back. still no update from immig.

also i have to apologize for the tiniest nothing with sincerity and tears in my eyes otherwise it's not accepted, where as when i'm right and he needs to say he's sorry i only get a pitiful "i'm sorry okay?" reply with that offensive downtalking tone of voice.