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al four of my children were differant at that age, im not sure its middle child syndrome, but there is allways a noticable diferance from the behaviour from my two oldest and my youngest two being the two oldest were from previous relationship
getting your hubby to help with time outs and agreeng on things that are sutable ,children mimick behaviour thats around them,
a reward chart might help, other than that i dont have any other sugestions
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 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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