Dear Ex T,

I had hoped that by avoiding contact with you I would think of you less, but that doesn't appear to working. I still think of you a great deal, and miss you a whole heap. I don't know whether this will ever subside. I never ever would have imagined that I would voluntarily cut contact with you, but it just got to the point where I wasn't happy with such a one sided relationship, and you were seemingly unwilling to change that. Despite, I believe, wanting you. You said you would love to meet up and chat, yet when you thought it through and sought supervision you decided against it. Did you say 'for now?'. Or something along those lines. It's been three years though, and I'm very settled in my work with current T now. I don't know. I do believe your heart wants more, but your work head prevents you from it, and that's sad for me. I think we could make it work, quite easily, but I guess it isn't to be, because of not now, then when? I assume never. Of course that makes me sad, because I don't understand why we would waste something so pure, but I can't change it and I have to respect your wishes. I want to respect your wishes. You always replied to my messages so nicely, so quickly, yet you were never the one to message first. It feels like I've left the ball in your court this time and you haven't yet decided to play. I'm not sure you ever will.........