Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I see it differently when strangers die - I think it is not the loss of that person themselves being mourned -particularly if only known in fantasy sort of ways. For me, I would see as me trying to glom onto a tragedy or sadness that was not mine. I mean - I am not happy hearing about the loss others endure but it is theirs - not mine. Maybe it is that I don't really believe that outsiders are really mourning the person/loss of having them in your life but rather their own mortality/loved ones/relationship to the concept of death and using the current situation.
I felt that way when the therapist would get more worked up (I know they were acting) about something I told them - my X not yours so chill. When my person died, there was a graduate student almost prostate with grief/sobs - I have no idea why - he knew of her and maybe had a class but he was not one of hers. I mean - I didn't try to stop him or anything but it seemed excessive and misguided unless he was actually grieving something/one else.
Just a different take.
|
I agree with this. I think there is a difference between existential loss and grief (which can arise from the death of those we don't know) and intimate loss and grief. Maybe our respective boundaries of what is ours to grieve personally relies on how we seek individuation and sense of self. What we are and what the other is. Very Gestalt. It reminds me of when my students describe themselves as empaths or highly sensitive but I see someone with porous boundaries and an undefined sense of self. Obviously no judgement about how people here are grieving or not, but our different experiences are interesting I think.