Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I can also relate to you too, LT. L and I have talked some about what would happen if she died or was incapacitated in some way. We actually say if she was eaten by a bear as reference to her death. She went on a camping trip early in our relationship and I was afraid she would be eaten by a bear. So now it’s kind of a joke. She said her partner will be the one to inform me in an emergency. I’d probably go back to T for support. I asked if I could go to her funeral. I told her I would just stay with her partner. I don’t remember her response. I also asked her to keep a list of our items so I can get them back if something happened to her.
Sort of along the lines of poisoning… I was tempted last week to bring scissors in. I wanted to open something in her presence, but didn’t know if she had scissors. I decided to just open it at home. Figured it might look really bad to bring scissors to your therapy.
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Thanks for sharing, Scarlet. It's interesting about the bear thing: When Dr. T went on vacation one time, years ago, I had no idea where he was going. And I said I hoped he wouldn't be eaten by a bear or a lion. It led to an awkward exchange, where I emailed him--it was allowed--confirming that he was still alive, and he said, "No, I haven't been eaten by a bear or whatever it was you said. You're too funny, LT." When I was actually worried about his well-being, not joking. It caused a mini-rupture, but he gets it now.
Dr. T and I had a conversation maybe a year ago about his arrangements if something were to happen to him. His wife is supposed to inform clients (which feels weird on many levels, including that she'd be grieving so wouldn't want to do that). But he said info about his funeral would be provided, and that it would be OK if clients attended. I also asked that if something happened to me, would he be willing to go to my funeral. And he said yes. It felt like a very meaningful conversation, that the relationship was such that we'd each go to the other's funeral.
I do imagine L would be OK with your going to her funeral, though of course I hope that wouldn't be a thing you'd have to think about.
That's interesting about the scissors--I see where it could possibly be seen as a threat, though I doubt she'd see it that way, if you had a reason to use them. Rather than randomly bringing them. Seems like you opted for the safest thing to just use them at home.