Congrats on your sobriety Mtn.
I’ve had my share of quitting too, back and forth, in and out for years.
It’s only about 4 months for me now and however I would like to be certain that this is the last time that I will quit, I can’t be. And for the sake of future me, who may relapse, I won’t let him be buried under the accumulated burden of guilt.
I’ll forgive him, me, and I’ll try again.

There is a phrase that I tell myself when the urge hits something fierce..”having isn’t the cure for wanting” and I’ve proved that true everytime I relapse, because the wanting shifts.. from wanting a drink to wanting to quit..ad infinitum.
Even wanting to quit is a fallacy, there is something deeper at the heart of it.

The solution lies maybe in the act of not wanting either.