I often don't know what to say. I don't offer advice on most threads. Your threads are triggering to me but I still read them. I figure your posts are much like mine where I'm close to everyone so I need to update but not necessary need an answer back. I also get word poverty. I feel you're not taking Care of yourself whether that means you need a higher level of care or just more help that's up to you and your Drs. I don't think you're being honest with your team or you may need a new team. You have a lot of things going on both physically and mentally that need to be addressed. I'm not the one to say this as I struggle immensely right now too. Wish you best of luck getting healthy and stable.