Well.....

My daughter knocked me on my butt last night.

I've been going through a low stretch; probably 2-3 weeks of depression right now. It's not as bad as it was in the past, but it's there and I recognize it.

If you've ever lost someone, you know that pain can rear its head in the moment that you forget that they're gone.

I was walking through a mall and saw something and it popped in my mind, "Gee... (wife) would really like that. I should tell her." BOOM. Depression took root.

Last night I was driving with my 16 yo daughter and told her I wasn't doing well lately. She asked me a little about it. I asked, "Do you ever miss Mom?"

She replied, "No..... Yes....... No........ (long pause) I yearn for a mother, but not for her. I had to understand that I was mourning that I didn't have a mother, not that I didn't have her. Those things were confused in my mind because she was the closest thing I had to a mother. I had to separate those. I feel a yearning, not a missing."

So I asked, "Do you go through low periods of depression?"

She replied, "I did for months when I was mourning when you guys first split up, but I haven't since then. Honestly things just keep getting better since then."

I've kind of been reeling from that conversation for the last 15 hours....

RDMercer