@JaneOnceMore - Sorry about your food problems of living in a food desert. That has to be tough especially since you have to take the bus to get to a store selling healthier food products. Neighbors around here have theft problems with packages from Amazon, FedEx, UPS, what have you. People just brazenly drive up to houses and steal the packages...though lots of people have cameras now, they'll post footage on the neighborhood NextDoor site, but most of these people are not caught. I am SO lucky we do not have that problem. My house has a curved pathway to the front door bordered by pretty tall bushes; first, you can't see any packages on the porch from the road, and second because people can't just run at straight path through grass and the bushes are too dense to run through, they don't bother with the curved path as it is not quick.

@unaluna - I LOVE eating vegan. I hardly ever get to because H always wants meat with meals. We have basically stopped eating out much at all because it has gotten so expensive. We went out to eat twice last year, once on our anniversary and once when a truck hit our light pole and the power company had to come replace the pole and there was no power. I guess I do occasionally buy the breakfast or lunch sandwich at Starbucks though I haven't gone as much this month as I did last month, so that's good.

@iloveanimals - I need to declutter in the worst way too. I bet you'll feel great to get rid of all that unnecessary stuff. I need to bring myself to do that to but ugh...I procrastinate with things like that so much. I hope the CBT therapy helps you with your anxiety and panic disorder. Have you decided yet to start working with your pdoc to taper your benzo or are you waiting to start CBT therapy? Definitely if you can, find a CBT workbook or two...it will help. But I've found most of CBT is changing your thought patterns by replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts practicing it and practicing it, negative actions with positive or at least neutral actions or grounding actions for anxiety & panic (cold temp. grounds me a lot, closing my eyes, running my hands under cold water. holding a glass of ice water between my hands, an ice pack, etc.). There are lots of different grounding techniques you can look up online to try for anxiety and panic, different things work better for different people.