I'll have to come back and catch up on the posts; I seem to be running late with everything today!
I slept very well, woke to my cat Pecan sleeping next to me, purring, great way to wake up  I took a long power walk, but it was so cold and drizzly I jogged the last bit home. Read with the SAD lamp for an hour, well more like an hour 20 min., I wanted to finish my book as I was close to the end. I drew fruit today, 3 pics all in the creative corner forum. I was pleased I could draw something resembling a pineapple.
I'm feeling quite happy today, this stability has been awesome because I was in the depths of despair at the end of November, thought it would be the hospital and/or it was iffy I could not trust myself to OD. Very bad SI thoughts, and now I'm happy! I frankly haven't felt this well mentally in YEARS! I'm loving reading, I'm loving drawing. I'm feeling pride in my artwork and loving trying to draw things I think impossible at first glance and realize I may be underestimating my talent. Not that I'm an awesome artist I think should exhibit in museums or win prizes, just that I think I am doing awesome for my own self. Not to mention how catharatic I find drawing to be. I am baking more and actually enjoying it. I am trying out new recipes for dinner which mostly turn out (you never know with internet recipes!).
Things have gotten a lot better between H and myself. We are both more affectionate towards each other and not just in bed but holding hands, hugging, kissing, talking and I am doing better at making eye contact; eye contact is always hard for me even with the people I am closest to. My daughter is opening up to me more and telling me that she is so glad I am doing so much better quite often these days.
I am so afraid of this bubble bursting, but on the other hand, I am glad to know it is still possible for me. I wish everyone here could experience these type of feelings instead of being flat or manic or depressed.
I'll try to catch up on posts this afternoon; I am starting a new book to read and want to bake blueberry muffins as well so it may take me a bit to get around to reading all the posts.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD
Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,
There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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