I'm taking the day off, which is why i'm writing so much. Enjoying myself, but don't want to tire you all out, so will try and resist for the rest of the day. Might be hard, as i have nothing else relaxing to do, tho, so apologies in advance. Went to an art gallery yesterday, so i've had my fill of the city, and it's Saturday anyways, which is a bad day to go out into the city, with huge, hectic crowds about.

Just feel like reconnecting here and repairing the relationships i ruined during my recent episode of benzo withdrawal, during which i was such an inexcusable bbiiaattcchh. So very sorry for everyone's feelings i hurt. That wasn't ME talking, that was the benzo deprivation talking.

But it's my fault for being addicted to benzos, and my fault for running out and thinking i'd be okay. Surely, i have learned my lesson the hard way, and know that skipping even a tiny dose of five milligrams of valium turns me into a monster.

It really scares me for the last-ditch attempt i will undertake to rid myself of benzos for good. My doctor and i have planned to take it slow and cautious, and reduce by only 0.5 milligrams per month, which is VERY WARY.

But these darn things have such a grip on me, i just don't know if i can do it. There's a risk to attempting it as i become a raving bbiiaattcchh in benzo withdraway. I once got banned from a mall for arguing with cashier over a penny.

In benzo withdrawal, i can't get along with ANYBODY. I can't get anything done without causing a scene. I argue with cashiers, bus drivers, bank tellers, waitresses, etc. I'm risking going to jail when i withdraw from benzos. So sorry i ever took them on Doctor Patrizia Cavazonni's advice. Such a drug dealer of a shrink. Negligent. Criminal.

But i was the one who swallowed the meds. It's ultimately on me, tho i was influenced by bad advice. But i have no one to blame but myself for my benzo addiction. I am my own worst enemy.