I was the same way. When I was diagnosed with DID, I denied it to the max. I came up with all sorts of other reasons why it couldn't be DID. None of them held water, but I kept trying. It took me over 3 years to accept the possibility. When I finally accepted (to a degree), it was much more peaceful. And things made sense and I didn't feel as crazy. I still go through times when I think I can't be DID. It HAS to be something else. T has said other parts of me don't even understand the concept of DID and some think she is crazy lol.

Sometimes if T says DID in session, my brain goes on an overload freak out thing but we're getting better at saying Okay, there are parts. Where do we go from here. And we're also good at saying, no, we can't go there haha.

T doesn't know how long it will take or if I will ever be fully integrated. I always think we're going 100 mph though, but T says we're going pretty slow. For me, it's a very slow process because when we go faster than a snails pace, things get worse for me. Overall, some days really stink. But we'll get there- or we'll get somewhere at any rate!