OK, I lost all my reply and have re-typed to the best of my abilities, but I'm not sure how good that is.

@June08 - I really need to clean, but I hate it so, so much. What does the volunteer organization at your church do?

@JaneOnceMore - So sorry for your lack of sleep. I hope the melantonin will help you sleep tonight. You are lucky to have friends to hang out with. My only 2 friends I have right now are my two younger sisters. Thankfully, the 3 of us have always gotten along well, so I have been blessed in that respect.

@BeyondtheRainbow - I went to Niagra Falls too. That was in the year 2001, back when you didn't even need a passport to cross the Canadian border, before 9/11 (the summer maybe?). I took all sorts of meds with me; I was using the county psych place, and they really doped you up! But things were much more lax before 9/11. However, that trip was definitely something driven by mania...I flew up to Toronto to meet a guy I only knew online, yep, you figured it, had sex with him the whole time I was there, but we did see Niagra Falls from the Canadian side and then walked over to the U.S. side in New York...then only talked to the guy once or twice afterwards, it was a bit of a whirlwind, should have been my first inkling that maybe I was bipolar. I justified the trip to myself as a reward for graduating university in Dec. 2000.

@iloveanimals - Yep, that's the way I used CBT to get over the worst of my ED. It was pretty bad. No, actually my ED was horribly critical by the time I decided to attempt recovery. I weighed maybe 85 lb. dripping wet, and I don't know how but somehow I managed basically CBT on my own (along with psych meds) to get my weight up, stop exercising while I recovered, take the stupid psych meds. Because of that, it took me an extra semester to graduate college, but I got it done.
I am sorry about your son, though. That has to be so hard. I worry about my daughter a bit but she seems to take more after H mental health wise, thankfully.

@Blue_Bird - Your sunset painting is gorgeous! You're very good with paint! I'm glad the dizziness went away.

@Crazy Hitch - Thanks for the compliment on my drawing! Always appreciated

@raspberrytorte - Sorry about hearing the music again. It happens to me too, and I will hear all kinds even things I don't listen to like Mexican music, rap, along with types I do listen to. It can be pretty unsettling. Do you think it's decreasing your benzo doing it? For me though, mostly it means I need an adjustment of Seroquel, but I think you are on a pretty high dose already?

@Nammu - I hope you can manage a nap or at least a good night's sleep tonight. I am SO thankful for Seroquel, it has been a godsend to me for sleep, without it, I struggle so, so much. Even when I was a kid, I was so jealous of my sister; we shared a double bed up until I was 6 or so; we'd talk a bit, then she'd roll over and go right to sleep, and I'd just lie there. My poor mom, so many nights I woke her up in bed telling her I couldn't sleep and then my youngest sister was born, and she turned out to be a poor sleeper too. I'm not sure how my mom did it!

Sorry for anyone I missed, retyping everything really is a drag!