@June08:

Yeah, i'm in the same boat with MY friends. The young man student is super busy during the weekdays and has no time for me. Even on the weekend, sometimes he's travelling, visiting family, or spending time with his peers. I was really lucky to lure him into lunch on Sunday.

I don't fool myself into thinking that it'll be a regular thing. At least he is exceptional with his phone, and if i text him, he usually answers right away. His social skills are excellent too, so i don't feel rejected, or ignored, he just explains he's busy with work, and school during the weekdays.

My other friend has the problem of not being comfortable being spontaneous. She always wants to make an appointment to see each other. It's tiresome, because i really went all-out to spoil her when she was having a bad time, and i feel it's unreasonable of her to be so inflexible. I phoned her for breakfast yesterday, and she had 90 minutes before any commitments, time enough for a quick breakfast at a neighborhood diner...

And she REFUSED. She's so stubborn, or maybe it is just her age as she is about 78. She's still very sharp, and physically fit, and is just as active as me. It's just everything has to be on this tight, rigorous schedule, and i just can't plan that far in advance because i never know how bad my sleep will be.

I'm 58, June, so a LOT older than you, and i feel like giving up. It's always ME pursuing the friendship, ME making the contacts, ME inviting them over, ME treating them to a restaurant. It gets demoralizing.

I've learned to be happy doing things on my own, even eating in restaurants on my own. As long as there is a bar to sit at, i feel comfortable dining alone, sometimes chatting with the bartender if it's really slow, and they are responsive to my overtures. I feel conspicuous at a table dining alone, tho. I won't do that again.

And here i am: facing going to Cuba alone. I asked about seven people to join me. Splitting accommodations, the whole four-day trip would only be $500, which is good value. That's airfare + accommodations. But everyone has an excuse.

I couldn't even lure my own older sister into joining me. We're talking again. Turned out that dis the other day was a misunderstanding. She was at work on Family Day [she works in health care] and it was particularly hectic and chaotic.

She said she was sorry she just sent an emoji, that she should have texted back and explained that she was at work. So it was good i asked what was with the emoji response to my loving, robust, long text complete with a photo shoot of the dog i was babysitting and my luscious new gray faux suede furniture from my young man friend.

All these misunderstandings, and having to pursue an explanation, and sometimes even having to apologize myself, for i make errors too. It really makes me feel hopeless.

@Blueberrybook:

That's hilarious that you flew up to meet an online friend and had sex with him all weekend! I wish my friends were more understanding of that hypomanic behavior because in the Summer of 2022 i dated a 33-year-old who was EXTREMELY sensual, erotic, and sexy.

He was very urgent about wanting to have sex, and sent me all these sexy videos, that drove me wild with desire, it was so fun. We met up for hot chocolate and held hands, and his hand was warm, and blood-filled. He hugged me upon arrival and departure, a real full-on body contact bear-hug. I so WANTED him sooooooooo bad, but my friends talked me out of it, saying he was scamming me.

They said, why would a 33-year-old man be interested in a 55-year-old woman? I'll tell you why: because my mood was high, and i was a lot of fun, and with my hair dyed turquoise i can pass for forty, as i have a very young-looking face. The young man said he liked me because i was a good time, and "not gloomy." I guess the other women he dated whined and complained, while i belted-out Neil Young's "Heart of Gold," at the Farmer's Market we went to where there was a guitarist playing, but not singing. Everyone was happy with me!

Good for you for doing as you pleased, and indulging your hypersexuality. That was a great gift you gave yourself for graduating university. Well done! Bravo!

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As you can tell from the timestamp on this post, i'm up and not sleeping. The probem today is not so much insomnia, but a stomach ache from eating fast food, which i almost never do. Boy, it was really disgusting, i didn't even finish it but i guess even a small amount of fast food is enough to set me off. Lesson learned. I don't dare take a melatonin gummy even. Looks like it'll be a long night of knitting. Sigh!