They do know I am self-harming (not really how frequently, but they know when I do it, I go hard--before my last admission I showed up for med management needing medical attention for the cutting which they wouldn't even have known about was I not ridiculously messed up that morning) and they know I am using. They were actually encouraging me to smoke weed to stay away from harder stuff and also stay out of jail/the hospital until today I reported hallucinating after a single hit over the weekend.

Inpatient's not really an option. I've gone a bunch before, and all I need is a safe place to live, not a week of a place to sleep and be told I need a better place to live only to be discharged here. I was inpatient in December and my housing case got closed (then reopened) because of it, and I can't let that happen again.