@RDMercer and @SquarePegGuy I'm here, I'm sorry. I just struggle alot mentally and physically I'm just drained. Everyone always say why not just leave why not just pack up, this is not as easy, i have tried the easy way out but it didn't help, it just made everything worse. Talking to anyone here would mean I'll have to stay away from the house, and how will i explain where i was without starting another fight. I have no free time of my own. The only time my heart is whole is when my kids come and visit me every second weekend, and even then sometimes i just can't stop the pain, the tears but with them its much easier to keep it in.

@CANDC - thank you for the link, i did go read up about it.

@rive - i hear you but it is not as easy as it sounds the situation im in does not allow me to just up and go.

Thank you for the advice, i will read up a little bit more on how one can handle everything without giving up to much of myself for the wrong person