(((((((((((((((((((( ryan ))))))))))))))))))))))))

i have a similar experience in which i left my little brother. the guilt is immense...even tho it worked out alright, i can't cut myself a break on that one. i understand, dear...i understand your pain, guilt, confusion, terror, bewilderment, etc. more than you may know.

i hope we both can "purge" these from our hearts, souls and minds, by bringing them out. you're doing just that! bless your heart. you never cease to amaze me. you're becoming my idol. do you know that? i'm thinking, if ryan can do it, i can too

love ya,