Hey, found you from my other thread! Have you ever been told you have BPD or traits? Having a "favorite person" is definitely one of the common themes, but doesn't necessarily equate. I've had them in the past, and it's really stressful. I learned it's not even that there's a genuine connection, but the FP is more of someone BPD gets projected upon by the person with it.


For myself, I was done. I was in and on/off romantic relationship with someone for years, and the obsession was ruining my mental health. In that thread others had mentioned BPD and narcissists tend to gravitate, and that was definitely the case. I've since deleted his number and changed mine, deleted all social media, and pretty much have been a loner for a while. I hate it, I like people, but I also don't find myself having SI just because someone didn't see a message I sent or had a short reply. (I do still talk to neighbors and such, but I don't really have close friends.)

If you want to engage with this person, go for it, but keep doing some reality checks. "Is this relationship healthy for both of us?" "Am I putting too much on them?" "How are they feeling?" You can even explain this in whatever way you think best and ask them to help you with this.

I don't have my workbook on me, but there's a list of negative relationship habits (a few I can think of are yelling, pointing fingers, swearing) and positive relationship habits (like when things get heated taking a break so you can engage in a calm and collected manner, talking in specifics, being solution-focused). If you want, I could probably take a picture or retype the list and send it to you.