First, I want to let you know that I think you're an amazing writer!

Okay, so I think you're on the right track with this: '...finding a way to breathing into what's happening in this moment, letting go of all the attempts to grasp and push away. It goes against all of our instincts, but when the day charges at us, we have to let it carry us away. Anything else is like trying to steer a river, or redirect an avalanche. It means looking at all the worst fears in your mind and simply saying in response: "If it happens, it happens." And that's f**king terrifying.'

In CBT, you might be gently encouraged to explore what might happen if you don't "get more done today." And you might be asked, "Who says you haven't been connecting enough to your wife?" along with "Why not discuss this with her?"

The answers could be different for us, but I know there's always something that needs doing, especially if you own a home. Check the oil, yes, but patching the hole in the roof comes first. The chop meat will go bad if I don't cook it, yet my wife needs to get to the ER because she's shivering and has a fever of 102F. (These are hypothetical scenarios that I've compiled from real-life events.) So the oil wasn't checked and yet the engine didn't seize up. The chop meat did go bad; just throw it out.