Thanks for responding. I've spoken with a couple lawyers, my son has no legal rights to B unless he adopts him. And yes, both kids have been told by their mother not to set foot in our house. When my son has them, he has them at his place. She tracks B's phone, as well as the tile location devices she's sewn into their jackets. We threw a birthday party for J a few months back--their mother tracked them to our house and they refused to get out of the car. We had the "party" without the birthday boy. I honestly think he would have come inside but B told him "Mom says no" so that was that.

At this point, I'd like my son to try building a relationship with J--his son--without B around. I know that sounds harsh, but she's not going to change, B is her pawn, and meanwhile J is losing out all the way around. But my son feels guilty about only taking J, so B is included and makes life miserable.

I have nothing against B--I've been his "grandmother" since he was born. But having him around is like having his mother around. She hates my son, she hates us, she hates our family. I can't change that. The only resolution I can think of is for my son to only take J on the scheduled visitation days.

How do I convince my son this is the right thing to do, guilt or not?

Thank you!