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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird
Tomorrow I have therapy and Thursday I have my psychiatrist. I’m gonna ask both of them about complex PTSD and see if there’s any chance that makes sense for my diagnosis rather than schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. Or if it would be both complex ptsd and the schizoaffective bipolar disorder. Who knows. Just want to get some insight.
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I'm not diagnosed with complex PTSD, just regular PTSD but sometimes I think I have the complex type what with all the dissociation I have going on so much and even feeling so detached from my actual identity. Sometimes I will think my name is "blueberry" well, actually not, but you get the drift, and I will be like gosh, I was that little girl in third grade who lost my tooth in class, the teacher wrapped it in a tissue and she forgot to give it to me to take home and I was so upset I couldn't put it under my pillow that night for the money (even though I didn't believe in the tooth fairy any more and knew it was my mom giving me the money) but I'll think I'm so far apart from that, that's not me, but yet it WAS, you know. And gosh, I was that girl who won Artist of the Month in high school and the girl who rode bikes with my sisters up and down the roads and it all feels like it wasn't me and it was. And I have the hyper arousal. I even have hyper reflexes when the doctor tests them, but it's more than that, like I can't turn it off you know and just RELAX.
Probably I need therapy for all that but then again, I've lived with it so long, what can you even do? I see my pdoc tomorrow, but I'm not sure I'll mention it; he already wants me to go to therapy and this would solidify it more, and I don't WANT to have to commit to therapy any more.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD
Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,
There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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