Thanks unaluna! I appreciate your responses. I think I'm mainly asking about my son not taking his stepson when he takes his son. I believe if he did not take B, she would ease up on her rules--she uses her rules to control my son: "If you don't do everything I say, you can't spend time with B" sort of thing. But if he gives up his time with B, there's nothing she can do about what he does when he has just J.

He's not trying to get custody of J. I just think he'd be better off just taking J during his court approved time, and leaving B behind, in order to have a peaceful visit with J. But my son feels guilty about doing this; he'd rather keep things as they are right now (miserable) than make this change and start enjoying being a dad.

Anyway, thanks again!