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A wonderful start to the day here, it's cool and sun is shining. Treacle and I have been for a walk after a decent night's sleep. We walked and I found everything I could at the time to be grateful for. The bushland nearby, the birds singing, the sunshine, my ability to walk, talk and interact with the world. I realised that I am being so tough with my self talk, expectations of staying positive all the time, not allowing the negative energy to pass through without stopping and analysing, I'm not dignifying or validating the concerns of my mind. So it talks louder, and louder until it manifests in my body. It doesn't serve. Currently listening to a Mel Robbins podcast, listening to one from her, Abraham Hicks, Tony Robbins, Joe Dispenza, Jefferson Fisher etc is a daily goal of mine. Maintaining a mindset that's positive sure is challenging. Depression has been kicking my butt the last few weeks and there has been nothing in the tank to get online or communicate with others. Which is not how I desire to show up. The psych didn't help as I was hoping, and, perhaps expecting them to help rather than me continue to do the work on myself was erroneous thinking. The tired leads to anger, and the anger, fear is ultimately behind it. Uncovering the purpose that its there, its frustration, which in turn has fear of feeling like this for a lifetime, sits behind that. So make change is the answer. Idk. I feel like I am wasting my life, and to a certain extent, I read my old posts here and it's kind of challenging to accept that whilst I am stronger and no longer in victim state, so little has changed. I do think there is a glass ceiling that bipolar brings with it, that isn't victim, rather its realisation. Not letting it define me, not allowing it to stop me from striving for more, hmm, navigating those thoughts takes some major energy.
And that's all about me, hugs to everyone likewise here who is finding life challenging and, continue to be the best version of themselves.
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"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes"
Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions
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