AAAAA, it's ok. Yes, you do get roped in for your own protection.

He usually finds someway of informing me of his next plans on destroying me. That's one of his creepy way of getting to me psychologically.

Then there are the times he acts on impulse. I have to watch for the signs that he is about to do something again.

As far as the wife, I am actually glad she is good to my kids, it makes me feel better when he has them. He also behaves most of the time when she is near.