@Blue_Bird I definitely struggle with the PTSD too; if I went to therapy, it might get better but I have been through over a dozen therapists and never clicked with a single one. I just got tired of committing my time and money. But I hope therapy helps you. The only thing that gets me through dissociation, well the 2 things really is knowing that it will pass and doing my best to carry on with my day and not panic about dissociating. Because if I panic about it, it just makes things worse and seems to make the dissociation last longer. I know I have a lot causing my PTSD, but dealing with it ugh! I have a lot of flashbacks, and often they come randomly, which is just the worst because I can't even identify a trigger. For the anxiety I do my best with grounding exercises which sometimes help and sometimes don't, but over time, I am finding I have gotten better with using deep breathing to help high anxiety. This is over a LONG, LONG period of time, I'm talking 2 decades worth of time, but it is something at least, so keep practicing it! Sometimes with the dissociation too, I find that just having a family around, things I need to do for them like meals, dishes, laundry, etc. gets me out of the dissociation faster than if I'm on my own and my daughter & husband are out when it happens. The hypervigilance is hard; I probably only really turn it off when I'm drawing or asleep. I feel like I am in fight or flight mode 24/7 and just cannot stop it. And every little unexpected thing I see out of the corner of my eye or hear really gets my heart racing. Sometimes I wonder if the hypervigilance is part of why my metabolism is so high (though I know I do exercise a lot too).