I get hungry, but I don't really have an appetite if that makes sense. Like I'll hear my stomach growling and feel the emptiness, but brain doesn't really tell me "yo, Muddy, eat something." Although I did finish up my chowdah. I set alarms to force myself to eat, so hopefully I don't just hear those, turn them off and say "I'll make lunch in five minutes" and then five hours later go "oh shytttt...."

It's not like I'm not "happy." I just am not used to this complete lack of intensity, speed, and reactivity that it's weird and uncomfortable. I'm gonna stick to the new meds (I do realize they just upped my Trileptal dose to 300mg 2x a day too) for now and just emotionlessly (comparatively) rant about feeling dull in therapy and then when I see my pdoc. The funny thing is I know I'm not "dull," I just can sit still and don't feel like I'm going to get in trouble for over half the shyt I do now
(although I went on the highway today after a few days of just city driving and took too much advantage of not having to stop at a traffic light or stop sign every 30 feet, but it's not like going 75 in a 55 isn't going with the flow of traffic).