Kitty cats 🐱

Having a pretty good morning so far. It’s still so early though only a little after 9:30am. I took a shower, ate, brushed my teeth and took my morning meds.

I’d say things on the schizoaffective bipolar side of things are stable. My mood has been stable and minimal paranoia. My meds keep my mood stable and stop the paranoid delusions.

The thing I’m struggling with now that really can’t be controlled with meds is the PTSD part of my diagnosis. Cause like that causes dissociation, hypervigilance, anxiety, anger, irritability etc so I’m doing my best to manage it on my own. I know I have klonopin for anxiety and panic but I only take that once or twice a week maximum cause I don’t want to rely heavily on it or develop dependence. So I’m just trying my best to work on things with DBT and in therapy EMDR. Doing everything I can to stay grounded. The scariest thing that happens for me is when I start dissociating outside in public. Like while walking down the street. Which scares me because it’s dangerous. So I need to find a way to ground myself quickly when outside because I often dissociate outside cause there’s too much happening, too much bright light, too many cars, too many people, noises. It’s overwhelming.

Anyway, Im making some stir fried spicy ramen later so excited about that

And I found a new song to be obsessed with. It’s called Adventure Awaits by Adrian von Ziegler. It’s a Celtic song