Quote:
Originally Posted by ReptileInYourHead
Hey DA. I agree, you do write well and you could try writing a story, of whatever length the story happens to be, of whatever subject it happens to choose for itself.
Aside from that, the internal struggle is a familiar one, especially the one against guilt.
You seem keenly aware of the unreasonable nature of it, that you understand that you don’t deserve it but nonetheless, it persists.
Also, it seems that you are already resisting, but to go to war with it is counter productive, which I also assume that you understand. You seem to be on the right track to better understand and eventually strip these negative “voices” of their power, and you should just keep at it, again, I’m quite certain that that is already your intention.
“Like wind on a rock” is how someone described imperceptible action, in this case, change, and though there is no clear indication of it, it is happening to you right now. We mustn’t let up.
|
Thanks Reptile. I mostly like writing about this stuff, so I suppose I'm where I need to be.
I've lately come to think there's an addiction to getting drawn into the narratives - the compulsion to seek relief, even if only for an instant, in the brief cathartic flare of rage, or the soothing down-regulation of depression and despair. The "voices" encourage this kind of behaviour, which encourages more voices, and so on.
The practice for me is often about shutting off non-essential thinking, and tuning into my body instead. And yes, it's often a VERY, agonizingly, slow process. And yet, sometimes all it seems to take is a slight shifting of the focus, a bit of silliness to break the momentum, and the resistance falls away.
Perhaps that's the most maddening part of it - this sense that the key to resolving the inner chaos is
right there, if I can just look at it the right way. But then, that's just another way the narratives try to take control.