So now that I think about it more. The sza bipolar diagnosis does make sense I guess I’m lying to myself if I say I don’t get manic or psychotic. I am night and day without meds. Back before meds or when I was first starting to find what worked for me I’d end up in the back of a cop car being escorted to the hospital to a judge to get put in the hospital involuntarily due to psychosis and mania. Yeah idk. I just hate being stuck with this diagnosis but I guess I should just focus on treatment. The PTSD diagnosis provides some clarity on other things but my doctor insists on keeping the schizoaffective bipolar and I guess if I’m being truly honest with myself I agree.