I tried going through all the posts missed and I was just too far behind. I did post on page 22 and 23.

So I'm telling you this new therapist really wants me to work on my traumas. I got a workbook on cbt and it's nothing like the way I was taught 25 years ago.

So she suggested we do cognitive processing therapy. On like week 3 or so you're supposed to write out all your traumas in detail. First of all I have tremors I can't write it out, if I were to do that I would have a complete breakdown and end up in the hospital. My traumas are from age 4 to 30. One of them is from an organization I was in that has a good reputation and yes I was sexually harassed and blamed for it but was nlblamed for all my other traumas. They got in my head and I don't even understand it. It would take pages and pages to even explain how this organization works and how they get away with what they do. I just can't do that. Relive all my traumas, no way! So I have that cbt workbook and she's going to get it and we're going to work through it together. It's only 10 bucks and has over 8k 4-5 star ratings.

My son keeps breaking things that belong to this set up he got. Tonight I had to block him bc he kept changing what he wanted, then he'd say that will take too long to get here so I'd cancel etc. I did buy him what he wanted but he was still bugging me wanting me to tell him when they'd be where he lives after I told him to leave me alone. I just feel used by him sometimes.

I really need more help . I just can't stand long to cook. I can make like eggs and toast, but I like my eggs over easy so I have to cook one at a time. Toast and butter my toast on the couch. Or I can do pb&j on the couch. Bring the peanut butter and jelly as well as the bread to the couch. It's just hard. And I want help from 2-6 and nobody is replying to my ad. Ever since I had to quit my last job bc my back went out and I had to have back surgery I've slowly become a night owl. It's a ingrained. With my last care giver, she came 12-4 and I was exhausted bc I was losing so much sleep. I went into a mini mixed episode. I have to take care of my mental health first and foremost.

Nammu, how do you manage to cook? I don't use a walker, maybe that would help.

I hop everyone is doing OK and is getting enough sleep and not fighting horrible anxiety. 😀