T yesterday said something about negative symptoms of Sza and that she thinks that is contributing to my depression. I'm lazy and stupid. I'll never be able to work like this.

T wants me to come to the office once a week for at least 4 months. H wants me to do it. But the idea of riding with a stranger, talking to strangers them doing evaluations, and things. I think she's just passing me to her boss and doesn't want to work with me anymore. In reality I know that isn't the case. I want to say yes but I don't at the same time. All this help makes me feel incompetent.

These past few days have been all fear. We haven't even changed counties. I haven't let SSI know or anything. I'm basically shivering in fear and I have no idea why.

The manager says we're good but nothing has posted yet.