I’m so used to whatever type of therapy L does. Psychodynamic? Where you talk and process and build a rapport. Well, I guess you still build a rapport in CBT and DBT. To be honest, I’m not a fan of either CBT or DBT. I can never remember what the words stand for. And I get using skills. I have skills. But I’ll admit that in the past 6 years, except for her last maternity leave, I have relied on her for my coping. She doesn’t see it that way. She thinks I’m coping while waiting for her. Not really. I’m just sleeping and distracting. Still doing that now.

Like I’ve admitted before, I’m addicted to L. Sometimes I wish she or T would stand up and say that this all is unhealthy. Force me to do it on my own. Because you know what? I actually, truthfully, don’t think I need constant therapy anymore. Everyone tells me this. I just need someone to be there in a crisis. But I’m addicted. I love getting her love and attention. And she encourages it. Like allowing me to text and email her on her leave. T was shocked about that. Sometimes I wonder how her husband feels about me. She must tell him when she steps away that it’s work or a client. I also wonder if L is more wrapped up in this relationship than even I am.