Thank you all for the support. I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner; I've had one of the worst migraines I've ever had the last 48 hours. It's much better now but yesterday was rough. I need to get window blinds to help block light, especially if I'm going to have as many of these as I have been. I'm sure that won't; I'm going to try to get into my family doctor next Thursday after I've talked to my pdoc. I talk to her Monday but can't do the family doc until Thursday because I have therapy Tuesday and it would be a late cancel and Wednesday I have the dentist for fillings.


I'm feeling much calmer about things. It helped knowing that I'm not alone. I've also had some conversations with my mom about exactly how much money I have saved (not enough) and how to keep that money safe until we know what's going to happen. I had a lot of time to think yesterday while I laid with my eyes closed but couldn't sleep to think. I'm terrified but for right now it sounds like if you already have benefits you won't lose them. Of course my renewal pending so long doesn't make me feel confidant in this but it's something.

And @raspberrytorte if you haven't gotten your tax forms they are available on ssa.gov I ordered a paper copy on the website so it hopefully will have the form to determine if any taxes are due (they won't be but I like knowing 100%). I thought maybe they just didn't send paper copies this year but my mom got hers so I don't know.

Anyway, again, thank you all for not leaving me feeling so alone. This can be hard because the very bad side of having a therapist for 19 years is that I can read him about as well as he can read me. And so when we've tried to talk about this stuff I can tell he leans the other direction. It just feels uncomfortable. So I wait for my pdoc appointments to get counseling on this (22 years and I can read her politics agree pretty much completely with mine). Pdoc Monday!